So the last few years, I haven’t really set resolutions or goals or anything like that. The only goal I’ve consistently set the last few years has been a reading goal. The rest have been more general themes that I wanted to incorporate into my life. But this year, for some reason, felt different.
Maybe it’s because 2022 was so crazy busy, but I’m only now feeling like I have the time and energy to take a step back and think. I had a bit of an emotional breakdown over the holidays, at the end of which I came to the realisation that among other things, I’ve been feeling a bit sad and bored and generally uninspired. So on a random Tuesday (Jan 3rd, I think?), I sat down and made some goals. 40+ goals in fact.
Is this realistic? Is this too many goals? I don’t know. But even if I don’t achieve all of them, I might as well try. I’ll be better off for it. The more I think about it, the more I’m realising that my recent general dissatisfaction likely is a result of not pushing myself to do things that I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve been living life aggressively the last year, but in big, wide open ways. In grand gestures like trips and one-off milestones, and not so much in the small ways. The things that take time and effort. Like working at a new hobby or getting out and exploring the city I live in.
So I have a lot of goals set up for the new year. They encompass all kinds of things — adult stuff like finance and career, but also hobbies and creativity and such. Maybe I’ll post them here at some point, but right now, I think it’ll be more interesting to talk about things as I do them. And the first thing I’m doing is starting climbing.
This is just as spontaneous and random as the process that led to me setting goals for 2023. On a Monday, I was offered to go indoor bouldering with someone who had a free guest pass. By Wednesday, I had my own membership and a pair of $85 beginner climbing shoes. For someone who overthinks and meticulously researches everything she does (especially when it comes to spending money), this was kind of wild.
But, I love it. Climbing is new in so many ways. It works muscles that I don’t really have yet. It has an element of problem solving (something that’s lacking in running and strength training). And it makes me uncomfortable, in the way that going to the gym used to make me uncomfortable. With the gym, my hurdle was getting over being self-conscious. Once I saw that no one was actually looking at me — everyone was busy with their own workouts — I was fine. Now, with the climbing gym, the fact is, people look at you. That’s just how it works. People take breaks, or wait for other people to finish routes, and during that time, they’re watching you climb. And I need to get over the embarrassment that I feel every time I sense the eyes on me while trying out a route.
I actually first tried climbing in 2018. It was the cool thing to do in San Francisco, so I went. And I hated it. I was physically weaker than I am now, and even more self-conscious. Everyone at the climbing gym seemed to know each other and they were all talking about tech and I just somehow felt out of place.
I’m not sure if I like the climbing gym I just joined more, or if I’ve grown as a person since 2018. Either way, I’m excited to work at something new. I’m excited that I’ve found a new physical activity that I enjoy. I’m excited for this to augment my typical workouts at the regular gym. And I’m excited to be excited about something! That’s a lot of excitement.
Actually, between climbing and the list of goals I’ve compiled, I’m already feeling so much more motivated and inspired about life than I thought I’d be right now. On my last post — the 2022 year in review one — I said I was excited about 2023, but how I felt then pales in comparison to how I feel now. I am. Really. Excited.
